Reflection: Sun 9/7/03
Right now my cat is sitting in front of me. She has been my cat ever since I was 12 years old. I have been away from her since my time in college, but this year she is going to be living me. Her name is Target. Many times I get weird responses from people when I tell them her name. The reason her name is Target is because she has circles on her sides which reminded me of a shooting target when I named her. That might have also had something to do with the fact I was getting into target practice with air rifles and 22’s around the time in my life. My cat has been somebody I can talk to – even though I know she doesn’t know what I am saying, but sometimes it’s just nice to talk and think you are heard. The other wonderful thing about my cat is that she loves me without requirements on how much time I give her or other such things. I take care of her of course, so that might have a lot to do with why she loves me. That is the wonderful thing about animals – they do not have the reasoning ability to justify if they should like your or not. There is no resentment, jealousy, complaining, etc from animals. There is just that unconditional love.
Today, it has been mentioned that I do not get stressed about things. People think this is really weird, and they seem to want to stress me out. I don’t get why, really. I think some people are stressed about something and it just makes them feel better to try to make my stressed as well. I have people telling me all of these things I have to do and the deadlines and how hard it is trying to stress me out. I don’t get why, but I’m still not going to get stressed. I don’t know how people can live and be remotely happy if they are frequently stressed.
I think many get stressed because they do not have faith or believe in themselves. For some reason many people believe they are inadequate or in some way incapable of doing the things in front of them. My philosophy is along the lines of: Somehow it will get done, and if it doesn’t – it doesn’t. I don’t know, I am not trying to please anybody. If I let somebody down because I didn’t do something good enough fast enough, then that is their problem not mine. I have priorities in my life, and if something didn’t make it up there to get done, it didn’t make it. Some of my friends think that I don’t get stressed because they feel I’m smart and there is no chance I will fail a class or not be able to do something. That is completely wrong; I am no different than anybody else. The one things I can say about me is my favorite book was ‘The Little Engine that Could’ along with the motto ‘I can do anything I put my mind to’. This mentality ensures that I will do something I work hard for. If I fail, then I didn’t work hard enough on it is all.
But another big part of the stress thing is that I am not worried about the future at all. I do not worry myself about the many “if”s that are out there which could determine my future. I have absolutely no control of my life and where it is headed. I do not care, because I know that is none of my business really, that is for somebody else to take care of, God. Having complete trust that God will take care of me and what is going to happen to me makes the everyday task of just living so easy. I don’t have to worry about grades, job, money, societal status, anything. None of it matters because I know God will take care of all of that for me. If I fail a class or have no job or money, it doesn’t matter at all. I know that He is looking after me and guarantees I will live a happy and joyful life with or without money, degree, job, popularity, etc. None of those things determine if I am happy because happiness comes from within.