Excerpt from “When God Weeps” by Joni Eareckson Tada, p. 52-54. Also found in “Booy Meets Girl” by Joshua Harris. Understanding intellectually is completely different from feeling with the heart. So frequently, I understand and don’t feel. I proceed without passion and conviction. I wish this reality was real in my life each day.
Continue reading The Greatest Love
So, life is pretty hectic around the Christmas holiday season. I was in Atlanta for a week with short notice only to come back to work to prepare and support a go-live (so longer days at work). Then on top of that is the looming task of writing Christmas cards, collecting addresses, getting cool gifts, and making arrangements for the various activities of the season. I say that to say simply, that I was very busy come Thursday, Dec 21. I had not done any of the Christmas card work at this point and I was beginning to feel like I should just forgo the cards this year.
I was planning to leave either the evening of the 21st or the morning of the 22nd to return to the farm for Christmas. That morning, I decided I was going to stop trying to do things myself. I had meant to leave work early each day to work on the Christmas cards, but things just kept coming up. So, as I prayed that morning about my frustration with the issue, somehow I was able to let go of it.
I left work that evening around 10pm. I proceeded to go to Michael’s and pick up card stock. I then began to work. I consolidated my list of receivers, created the front and back of the card, and the envelopes. I began the printing of the cards and envelopes while working on the text for the inside of each card. I then printed all of the insides of the cards, and stuffed them into the envelopes. I then delivered all of the cards to co-workers directly to their desks. After this, I went home with a large stack of cards in envelopes arriving home at 7:30AM to see Phil finishing breakfast and getting ready for work. I then proceeded to address and stamp each card. I finished this a little after 9:30AM. I then packed my things for the trip to the farm and proceeded back to work because I left my power adapter there. I stopped by the post office and also returned the excess cards to Michael’s. I was on now beginning the 3.5 hour drive to the farm without any sleep.
After arriving home, I went to dinner with the parents, unpacked, etc. I went to bed at a reasonable hour of 10pm. Throughout the entire endeavor, I was consistently realizing God’s provision in my life. I know that it wasn’t under my power that I was able to work all day and night and the next day without becoming incredibly tired – that’s just not something I can do. Also, the simple fact that everything went smoothly shows that God was involved. I’ve never been able to create Christmas cards in anywhere near 12 hours of time.
Basically, that is the long way of saying that God is good. I feel like He really enjoys it when we rely on him and not ourselves. As I’ve been reading through the history Israel through it’s many kings and wars, God consistently blesses battles when the people rely on him and brings curses when the people attempt to overcome in their own strength. It’s the same with me, each time I find myself attempting to accomplish under my own strength I get frustrated and many times fail. Yet, when I just let go of my ego and pride and all of that self-centeredness for a few moments and rely on God’s provisions, things seems to work out. Hence why my favorite verse is Matt 6:33.